29, 10, 2015

Twice as bright. Half as long. | Cupcake asked me to let her go yesterday. Heavy as it seemed, it was the smallest request in comparison to all she has given me. We went with Oscar and Auntie @adventuresindogtraining and Aunty @randelea to the hospital to love and squeeze her until her last light. She showered us with kisses as we did her, she stared me straight in the eyes with the most intense, intimate eye contact I have ever experienced in my 34 yrs. I realized, in that moment, I’ve learned more about intimacy with her than any other being on the planet. In her last breath I said aloud as I did when my dearest grandfather passed “May flights of Angels sing thee to thy rest” and she left. The sobbing stopped for a second as her spirit took all of our tears and breath away. Her transition felt painless and graceful. Leaving her body there was the hardest part and as I left I reminded myself, it’s just a vessel, just a carcass. I left her with an orange patterned Mexican blanket and her giant Kirkland Costco bed that smells of cedar wood and dog feet. (Fritos corn chips) She will be individually cremated and brought back to the house. When I got home I moved the baby gates and benches that kept her in the back of the house so she wouldn’t bark at the neighbors, I no longer have to do that anymore. I don’t have to close the closet door so she doesn’t chew my shoes, leave the music on so she doesn’t feel anxious by the sounds outside, I can leave the windows open when I leave, I don’t have to leave the chair on the bed so she doesn’t jump up on it, I can take the “dog blanket” off the bed so if she did jump up her hair wouldn’t be everywhere. I can leave the bathroom door open cuz she won’t eat the trash, I don’t have to spray the walls with sour apple bitter spray so she won’t chew them and I never have to put a muzzle on her when we go to the dog park. There are so many things I realized I did, as a dog mom, just routine, no big deal, no hassle, you just do it. She made me crazy sometimes, she made me happy most times and she made me patient daily. She for sure, made me a better person. In the windstorm today, in the moon this morn, in my heart forever Forever grateful for you Cupcake🦄✨🐶

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Fitness-Adventure-Animal lover.

Voted LA’s Hottest Trainer, SoulCycle Senior Instructor, Life Coach, Triathlete, Ducati riding moto-babe. Surfer, snowboarder, mountain climbing yogi. Philanthropy enthusiast, owner of pooches, rescue advocate.


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